Back to Chi-town

So, I finally made it back to Chicago on January 4th after 2 cancelled flights from KCI. I was actually really thankful that I was delayed getting back up there because I got to spend more time with family and it was so wonderful. Uncle Steve (and Corky the dog!) came and rescued me from the airport on Thursday, and went to a dinner theater that night! Friday was relaxing/blogging/shopping and then the Lippe's came over for supper and games. Then on Saturday I left for real. It was so fun to spend a little more time with my extended family, it was good for my soul. And they actually were excited to have me there too! Win win.

Sunday, my pastor from home and his wife (Dick and Evana) were in the area, so they stopped by my place to say hi and chat for a little bit. It was really fun to see them again and introduce them to my roomies.

Dick said "Wow, honey! We might even make 'THE BLOG'!" Congrats, Dick and Evana. You're pretty much famous.

Unfortunately, life back in Chi-town has not been the easiest for me. The first week back wasn't bad. It was wicked cold Monday and Tuesday, so I was able to work from home on Monday for Grace Seeds and had the day off Tuesday since school was cancelled. The rest of the week went pretty well until Friday night. Oh, and I lost my phone on Wednesday of that week. haha. But I got a new one Friday morning.

I had to call my dad from the Verizon store to get verification or whatever, and I could kind of tell he'd been having a rough morning just from the way he sounded when he answered the phone. (turns out the water line froze at home and Rosie was not doing so hot) Anyway, 

he told me to call them later. I did call, but unfortunately not until I was on the train heading downtown with my roomies. That’s when Dad told me that Rosie passed away.

Rosie has been my best pal since April 9, 2002; my 11^th birthday. She was the best birthday present ever. I showed her in 4-H, took her hunting, and played with her most every day when I lived at home. She was my best pal. When no one else understood, she did. She was patient and kind and loving even when I was not. I could come home from a stressful semester in college, pet her for five minutes (and maybe cry a little bit) and suddenly life didn’t seem so bad.

First picture taken of me and Rosie, on my 11th birthday.

Last picture taken of me and Rosie. Can you see the love on my face?

So, I was on the train when I got the sad news, and I lost it for a little bit. Maybe I didn’t totally lose it, but I definitely cried. Slightly embarrassing. Anyway, Megan and Billy were very nice about it and let the girl with the puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks tag along anyway. We ate at one of our favorite places and then went to DQ for more comfort food.  :)

 

The next couple weeks were pretty tough for me. Losing Rosie made me reeeeally sad. Yet, I was also dealing with some other sad stuff. I won't get into the details, but it was a hard time for me. I've been reading Isaiah 61 pretty much daily which has been so great. Anybody have a favorite passage of scripture you'd recommend? 

The day after Rosie went up to heaven, Billy and I went to the Josh Abbott Band concert at a local bar. JAB is one of my favorite bands so I was super pumped. We also met some of Chelsea's seminary friends there so it was a pretty good time :)

 

For their encore, they played "She Will Be Free" which I love. It makes me feel....free. Anyway, they played it because January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month. Whoa. Just when I was feeling so sorry for myself about losing Rosie (which I do think is pretty legitimate sadness) I got a nice wake-up call. My life may not always be perfectly easy and void of pain, but it really is compared to what some people go through. I have no idea what it's like to be sold into slavery and abused on so many levels.Yet I even have no idea what it's like for people right here in this city. People are homeless, addicted, abused, hungry, unemployed, hopeless..... the list goes on.

Some days I feel like the world is so broken it's beyond repair. I'm just one little person wondering what I can possibly do. I feel like I do what I can for the most part, but it will never be enough. Some days it's hard to stay motivated.

I need help. I need prayers. I'm so thankful for your encouragement so far and hope that we can stay in touch better. Send me an email (sentsc@gmail.com) and we can correspond that way or I can send you my mailing address. I would really love to hear from any of you!

*Disclaimer: I am not totally depressed. Things have been getting better! For instance, I have had ice cream twice this week and baked last night :) And yesterday at the school was really good! And I got to see my sissy this weekend! (I'll write more about that later)

Sending warm love from chilly Chicago!

Chris

In my last blog post, you read that I really like New Year’s. It makes me stop and think about what I’ve done in the last year and what I hope to do in the one ahead. I think about who I want to be and what I need to do to become that person.

I’ve been looking forward to New Year’s for a while, mostly because I knew I’d be spending it with my college friends in Manhattan. Chelsea picked me up on Monday and I was so ready to get up to the Little Apple but I knew I couldn’t leave Mac without making one more visit.

Let’s go back a few months so I can preface this a little bit.  In September, my best friend from high school, Shelby, was diagnosed with Stage 3 Lymphoma. She had several large tumors in her chest and neck, and her condition was pretty serious. So, that kind of rocked my world.

 Fortunately, the chemo has taken care of most if not all of her cancer by this point. She is still undergoing treatments and is weaker than I probably realize, but she’s relatively ok.

A few weeks ago when I was still in Chicago before going home for Christmas, Shelby called and told me that she had just been to visit a classmate of ours named Chris in the hospital. Chris had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophogial cancer and did not have a good prognosis at all. The chemo had stopped working and he was being sent home. (He was going back and forth to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Zion, IL.)

I had no idea that Chris was even sick, and couldn’t believe that there was so little hope for recovery. I wrote his mom, Susan, a message on Facebook just to let her know that I was thinking of them all and that I would make it a point to visit if I weren’t in Chicago.

Then, obviously, I went back to McPherson for Christmas. A couple days after the holiday I wrote Susan again and asked if Chris would be up for a visitor. She said yes, but warned me that he didn’t look very pretty and that he may not recognize me.

Before going into the hospital, I was nervous. I hadn’t talked to Chris in years. We were in the same class in our early elementary years, and chased each other around the playground rather frequently, if I do recall correctly. However, we didn’t really see much of each other after our days at Roosevelt.

Anyway, Chelsea came to McPherson to pick me up to go to Manhattan for New Years but agreed to stop at the hospital so I could see Chris. I made my way up into his room, where his mom and another woman were standing by his bed, weeping. Susan greeted me and told me that Chris was “there”, and listening and that I could hold his hand as I visited.

I sat down next to him, and tried to hold it together. Susan was right, he did not look pretty. The cancer he’d been fighting for a year had clearly taken its toll. The medication made him jerk his body a lot, but I held his hand anyway. It was oddly comforting for me to hold his jerking hand. I suppose because I hoped he felt my tangible presence and knew that I cared. It was good to be a friend to him even after so many years being out of touch.

I talked to him for a little bit, reminisced about our days at Roosevelt, and thanked him for being a good friend. I never, ever saw him do anything remotely unkind to anyone else. He mostly kept to himself, but was a very kind and caring person. He had a good heart.

Then, I prayed with him. I thanked God for the opportunity to know Chris and be friends with him. I thanked God for Chris’ peace with his situation and how admirable that was to me. I said amen, and talked with his mom outside for a few minutes before leaving to head to Manhattan and enjoy being 22.

Seeing Chris made me feel very selfish and sort of immature. While I was worrying about what to wear and where to go on New Year’s Eve, Chris was making his final peace with the world and getting ready to leave it.

Then Chelsea and I stopped by Shelby’s for a little bit so I could say goodbye to her and her family, and then we hit the road. We arrived in Manhattan and hung out with a couple of our friends that were already in town the day before NYE. Then I get a call from Shelby at 11 pm telling me that Chris didn’t make it. He passed only about two or three hours after I had seen him.

That night, I was sort of numb. I tried to be reassuring to Shelby as I knew it was even more personal and terrifying for her.

I called my mama and dad, and told them what happened. Chelsea came in to check on me and I told her. And then I just laid on Rebecca’s bed. He was ready to go, but I was still very sad and in disbelief that this had happened to one of my classmates who was only 22 years old.

I was in a sort of sad funk on New Year’s, but knew that Chris was no longer sad and in pain, and that I should celebrate with him. He went to be with Jesus and was finally able to be totally free in so many ways.

I’m writing this a week after his death, and am still not quite sure how to handle it. I know life’s not fair, but this just seems cruel. Our class has a group on Facebook where we can post stories about Chris. It’s been good to read stories from others about how Chris impacted their lives. (if anyone has access to this, read Ryan Linscheid’s post, it’s so beautiful).

 Pray for me and my classmates, but mostly pray for Chris’s family and thank God for his life and his legacy. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.

A link to his obituary

A New Year

I love New Year’s for many reasons. It’s a chance to reexamine my life and think about the person I am and who I want to become. It’s a time to reflect on the year passed and look forward to the year ahead. It’s a fresh start. 

So I’ve been thinking about what I want to do differently in 2014. I’ll turn 23 which is a little sad because I love being 22 (mostly because of the Taylor Swift song, let’s be honest). I guess it’s time to grow up a little bit.

Anyway, here’s a few of my thoughts/goals for 2014. 

1.      Manage my time better.

2.      Be a better friend.

3.      Be less selfish.

4.      Do more artwork- and get out of my comfort zone with it.

5.      Learn how to make pretty pottery.

6.      Convince myself that I’m a runner. Then, run a 5k... and maybe a 10k!

7.      Become a better, more confident swimmer.

8.      Read a lot!

9.      Volunteer more.

10.  Get to know the people in my community better.

11.  Become more adventurous with cooking and baking.

12.   Be more intentional about meeting new people and forming friendships.

13.  Pray more. A lot more.

14.  Travel somewhere new.

15.  Do more random acts of kindness.

16.  Visit dog parks more- just because they’re such happy places.

17.  Eat more ice cream.

18.  Find more cool hangouts in Chi-town.

19.  Support things that matter.

20.  Be more generous.

21.   Do more of what makes me happy, and not feel guilty about it.

22.  Maybe write some poetry. Or just admire it from people who can write it. Ha.

23.  Visit more art stores.

24.  Smile more.

25.  Be a little more like Jesus.

These are just a few of my priorities that I’d like to be better about in the year ahead. I hope that you all will do something similar for your own lives, and share your stories with me!

Home for Christmas

Christmas was wonderful. It was so good to be with all of my siblings again. We only get reunited about once a year so it’s always special when it happens. Sometimes it's hard to be apart from those whom you love, and I just felt so encouraged to be surrounded by those people again.

Christmas morning we had opened gifts, had breakfast, and went outside to play in the snow. We did some low-key sledding down onto the pond since my little nieces (2 and almost 4 years old) were playing with us too. It was super fun to sled and to watch Anna and Addie. Rosie even went on a run with me!

Lexie!

 

Me and Anna

Addie loves bowling!

Isn't this the cutest thing ever? Addie was playing tricks on Grandma by sneaking around her chair.

Proud Great-Grandma

I also got to catch up with my dear friend Michelle! I got to see her and her hubby's new apartment and whip up some chocolate chip mickey mouse pancakes!