Interesting Experiences

Hey friends,

The last few weeks have been busy and fun with work events, retreats and such.

At the end of January, my roommates, Krista and I attended an "intensive 2-day training" on community organizing from the Chicago Coalition for the Homeless. JD invited us to go so that we could learn more about the intentions behind doing outreach at the schools, and hopefully start to actually engage parents in some of these issues (rather than just handing them a flyer and being done with it). It was a pretty cool training. We talked about some events from history that were founded in community organizing- women's suffrage, civil rights, etc. We also talked about building relationships, holding meetings, how you need to act as a leader, power, all kinds of stuff.

One principle from the training was pretty intriguing to me- "World as it is vs World as it should be". I think it's fairly intuitive once you get the concept but anyway we live in the world as it is (broken, mean, crappy, sad, corrupt, etc) but have this hope/dream of the world as it should be (happy, nice, caring, fair, just, harmonious). As organizers we're caught in between the two worlds. It's important to live in both worlds because if you get too caught up in one or the other you simply won't be effective.

It's funny because they kind of put words to how I've been feeling this year. I live in this really broken community and get so sad and frustrated thinking "How did this happen?" How can people treat others this way?" "WHY?!?!". You get the picture. In those moments of despair, I'm caught in the world as it is. It's hopeless, it's beyond repair. There's nothing I can do so why try? Whereas sometimes I am oblivious to the world as it is and think everything is as it should be or that it will all work out in the end. This may be comforting, but it's too idealistic and not realistic. Looking at the world this way won't inspire me to make any changes.

So, it was kind of cool to see this emotion/floating idea actually explained to me before my eyes. It's like I'm not alone or something! Later, when we were reflecting on the training, Megan said she felt the same way! How bout that!

Then, a couple weeks later I was at the bus stop waiting for the Madison bus to take me away for another day at Spencer. There was this guy there who started talking to me. His name was Kenneth. He had just been released from jail and was on his way to a girl's house where he'd been staying before. He kept saying how he'd been messing (I sensored that) up even just since coming out of jail. He said repeatedly that he really wanted to do things right this time- get a job, not fall into bad habits again. However, he was already kicking himself for some mistakes since he'd been out of jail less than 24 hours. He really wanted to get a job and make things right. He was worried that this girl he was staying with might be mad at him for some reason and kick him out. In which case he would be in a real rough spot. He said he had food, so that was good. I gave him the name and address of a shelter/non-profit in the neighborhood where he could go for help. I don't know how he's doing now obviously, but I hope he found what he was looking for.

Then, once I got on the bus a guy sat down next to me, a guy (Jamal) who was clearly on the drunk side. He'd been at the post office looking for his social security check.  He'd adopted three kids and needed that check for something. I asked if he had a job and he said no, and didn't really want one. I asked why he didn't want a job and he said he did just fine supporting them with social security and "I hustle and sh*t on the side too". Ha. Wow. I didn't really know how to react to that.
 I kind of pushed him a little bit, asking why he didn't want to work and serve as an example to his kids. He said he did try to be a good example. Talked some more. Then later he said he did want a job. Haha. Who knows.

This was an interesting and challenging encounter. I've always known that people abuse systems with government assistance, but here was one such person right in the seat next to me, unashamed of the way he supported himself and his family. Yikes. It's just hard for me to understand this because it's totally not how I was raised. *Side note: if you've met anyone in my family, especially my dad or Amy, you know what I mean. They are always so stinkin productive!* I value a work ethic and being productive.(Don't get me wrong though, I do love me some lazy pajama days too.) But I still feel somewhat guilty and worthless after a lazy day with zero productivity. I usually at least bake or do laundry or something to show for. It was just weird to meet someone who really didn't seem to care how he spent his days and made his money. It's tough to show love to someone when they have totally different values.

Hope ya'll are doing well! Sending my love!

That January Feeling

So, my last post was a little depressing. No guarantees, but I will try and make this one better :)

To start things off on a happy note, a few weeks ago I was able to go to Amy's bridal showers in Fairbury, Illinois! I took the Amtrak down which was super fun and easy (so much more chill than flying!)

Shower #2 (Aaron's mom's side)

Shower #1 (Aaron's dad's side)

Aaron's youngest sister and mom

dawwww :)

Aaron's sisters put skittles in their Sprite :)

It was so good to see Amy again, especially since this fell in the midst of my sad funk right after Rosie died. It was also really nice to meet some of Aaron's family. He has a really huge family so I don't remember half the people, but they were all very welcoming and friendly. I'm glad that Amy is marrying into a nice family!

Sooooo January. At the beginning of the month, Krista warned us/explained that this is the time of year when lots of YAVs start feeling a little down/frustrated/unhappy. You're far enough into the year that excitement has worn off and you probably find some aspects not so glorious, but still have a long ways to go. And it's wintertime. I wasn't too worried at first since I felt like I kind of experienced that in December. But, to be honest, I did experience the January blues. Again.

It's one of those annoying moods when the littlest things start to bug you. "the water has been running for 3 minutes and it's still not warm" "the house is messy" "no one shovels their sidewalks" "wah the wind is so cold!" You get the point. Yes, it's slightly childish. But I'm thinking/hoping that I'm not the only one who's been through this.

I'm also at the point in the year when I was hoping to have life figured out a little bit more-aka knowing what to do after YAV! Yeah, that's not happening. I'm learning what I like and don't like. I loooove having a flexible schedule, but I know that's probably not realistic for a big girl job. I do not like big classroom settings (too many kids/noise/chaos for little introverted Clarissa). I do really like the school setting, however. I like working directly with people, but find it a little exhausting at times. So do I do another YAV year? Maybe something like AmeriCorps? Get a big kid job? In Chicago? Denver? Virginia? Kansas? I have no idea. Prayers are most welcome and appreciated! :)

So, that sums up the stressful stuff I think. Let's talk about happy stuff!

After my last blog post, I got a random Facebook message from Jamie (Frye) Makatche, a friend from high school, expressing condolences for Rosie and "Hey, by the way, I'm in Chicago!". Say whaaat? Anyway, we got brunch one day. It was AWESOME. Between the nutella banana crepe, chai latte, comfy chair, and wonderful conversation- I was a happy kid! Jamie and I weren't every super duper close, but we have a lot in common. We decided to run a 5k together this spring and a 10k at the end of summer! Running accountabilabuddy! So we bonded over that, our love of games, ice cream, lots of stuff. The next day I got to meet her husband John over ice cream at Margie's! (by the way they live like 3 blocks from Hannah!) Such a huge blessing to reconnect with her and I am looking forward to hanging out with her and John more in the months to come!

Our community day a couple weeks ago was planned by Billy- we went ice skating at Millenium Park and ate at Giordanno's. Yum!

Action shot! Billy was the only real confident skater, as if you couldn't tell from Megan and I gripping the rails.

Just call me Michelle Kwan.

Yay!

This weekend, my BFF Chelsea came back from KS so I met her at Union Station and rode up to Evanston with her. We went over to Fernie's and watched the Super Bowl (very disappointing game as you all know) with her seminary friends at it was so fun! Then we went back to her place, watched a movie, and talked until the wee hours. I can't really tell you how nice it was to get out of the house completely for a day (again, the January blues) and hang out with my soul sister.

Monday night I helped with Becoming Women for the first time since early December and it was really great. We had 4 girls and we crocheted! It was so nice and relaxing and not over-stimulating like work can be sometimes. That girl Dominique I wrote about a while ago chatted with me a while and she no longer wants to get pregnant (HUGE YAY!) but her boyfriend is in jail for a year (not yay). But she was talking about going off to college and becoming a nurse and saving money and THEN having kids. YAY! Pretty sure I had nothing/very little to do with this change, but it was a huge answer to prayer.

Now this weekend, the roomies and I are off to Indianapolis (new 2014-2015 YAV Site! Yay!) to meet the new site coordinators and have a vocation-themed retreat. We leave tomorrow (Thursday) night and I'm super excited to get out of town and unplug from it all.

Until next time, thanks for being such great encouragers! May you all be free of the January blues and full of hope (for Spring! and other things).